Visiting A Country School. While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room. Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner. A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, “Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?”
Misconstrued Questions. The male teacher in a girls’ school asked the science class: “Who can tell me what organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated? Mary, can you tell me?”
Mary blushed furiously as she stood up. She said: “Sir, how dare you ask such a question? I will complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal.” The male teacher was taken aback at first by Mary’s reaction. Then, as understanding dawned on him, he called for another pupil, this time a volunteer.
Lily put up her hand. “Yes, Lily?”
“Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the eye.”
“Very good. Thanks, Lily,” said the male teacher. He then turned to the 1st girl, who threatened to complain to her parents and principal: “Well, Mary, I have 3 things to tell you: First, you have NOT done your homework. Second, you have a DIRTY mind. And thirdly, I fear, one day, you are going to be sadly disappointed.”
Intimate With A Ghost. A professor at the University is giving a seminar on the supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks them, “How many folk here believe in ghosts?”
About 80 students raise their hands. “That’s a good start,” says the professor, “For those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve ever seen a ghost?”
About 40 students raise their hands.
“That’s really good,” continues the professor, “I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”
15 students raise their hands.
“That’s a great response,” remarks the impressed professor, “has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”
3 students raise their hands.
“Brilliant. But let me ask you one question further…
Have any of you ever been intimate with a ghost?”
One of his students from a Redneck state raises his hand.
The professor is astonished. He takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed that.
You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.” The redneck student replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor asks, “Well, tell us what it’s like to have made love to a ghost.”
The student replies, “Ghost?!? Dang it!… I thought you said ‘goats.’